The perfect formula for the perfect problem:

Any way you think of it… you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

Certainly brought a tear to my eyes….. *sniff, sniff*

I don’t know about you but I’m overly turned on by the trampoline jump, splits, and then dunk that these girls do. I’m catching myself checking out their photo album on SI.com about once a day since I found out about them a week ago. Damn they’re hot!

via: Forgetfoo’s Pic of the Day

Every woman should read these rules and follow them to the ‘T’. Especially you Heather!!!

*chuckles*

The Guys’ Rules
—————————
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’
side of the story.
(I must admit, it! ’s pretty good.)
We always hear “the rules”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are o ur rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That’s what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the! other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s
wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine…Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Any questions?

(Thanks Dan)

And this is why I never wrap Christmas presents:

How To Wrap a Present Like a Man

Via:� Digg

Just came across one of my most favorite pics when I lived in Japan.� Japanese peeps might find this offending but I serve a different god…. as you can see.

This was a cut out in my house in Japan which was suppose to house a Buddha, incense, and other decorations.� I stocked mine with about $1000 worth of liquor.� Ahhh…. the good times.� I think I only have a half full bottle of Jack now.

*sigh*�

Okay okay… I did know about #4 and #15. And I will have to admit that I’ve never thought of trying #7 even after the fiasco back in the day over Marilyn Manson. I laughed my ass off reading some of these.

15 things you didn’t know about your penis

1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don’t care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the li’l guy.

2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh.

3. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor’s looking forward to checking your prostate. Even if you’re not.

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they’d make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That’s Greek for “amazing swimmer with large penis.” Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.

6. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings, caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained. . . . Okay, we’ll shut up now.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It’s estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn’t get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).

9. An international Men’s Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.

10. German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?

11. Turns out size does matter: The longer your penis, the better “semen displacement” you’ll achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That’s according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the “scooping” mechanism of the penis’s coronal ridge. Next up: curing cancer.

12. The penis that’s been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784 — that’s about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It’s good to be king.

13. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm — and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.