Damn this made my day. I hope she rots in prison on her life sentence.

San Diego Wife Convicted of Poisoning Marine Husband

SAN DIEGO (AP) — A woman accused of poisoning her Marine husband with arsenic to cash in on his $250,000 life insurance policy was convicted of murder.

Prosecutors argued Cynthia Sommer, 33, wanted a more luxurious lifestyle than she could afford on her 23-year-old husband’s $1,700 monthly salary and saw the military life insurance policy as a way to ‘’set herself free.”

Sommer’s friends and co-workers testified during the trial that she threw wild parties, got her breasts enlarged and had casual sex with multiple partners in the weeks after her husband’s collapse.

Todd Sommer was in top condition when he collapsed and died at the couple’s home on the Marine Corps’ Miramar base in San Diego.

His death was initially ruled a heart attack. Tests of his liver later found levels of arsenic 1,020 times above normal.

With no direct evidence that Sommer was the source of the arsenic detected in her husband’s liver, Deputy District Attorney Laura Gunn relied heavily on circumstantial evidence of Sommer’s financial debt to show that she had a motive to kill Sgt. Todd Sommer.

Gunn asserted that the defendant was the only person with the motive and access to poison the Marine.

Cynthia Sommer faces life in prison. Her attorney, Robert Udell, told jurors that his client had lost her ”knight in shining armor.”

She is now engaged to a former Marine she met two months after her husband’s death. She was extradited last March to California from her current home in West Palm Beach, Fla.

She took his life insurance money, bought fake boobs, and screwed like it was the 70’s again. I hope her cell mate is 250 lbs. of hulking man woman with fingers the size of Oscar Meyer Ballpark wieners who makes her an obedient prison bitch.

I felt like being mean after reading that article. I’m usually not like that…..

Congratulations Manning…. you earned it! And it’s about damn time…

Indianapolis 38, New England 34

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — A comeback, a drive, a legacy. And, yes — finally — Peyton Manning gets his Super Bowl trip. So does Tony Dungy.

Football’s most prolific quarterback put on a show for the ages Sunday, rallying the Indianapolis Colts from 18 points down and driving them 80 yards for the winning score in a wildly entertaining 38-34 victory over the New England Patriots.

In his nine years in the league, Manning has never played in a game like this AFC championship contest. He threw for 349 yards and one touchdown and brought his team back from a 21-3 deficit, the biggest comeback in conference title-game history.

Joseph Addai capped Manning’s late drive with the winning score, a 3-yard run with 1 minute left to help the Colts (15-4) complete the rally and send Dungy to his first Super Bowl — and a very special one.

And February 4th will be reckoning day for the Bears. You better believe it!!!

So where can I meet women like this:

Teacher has baby early so hubby can watch Bears

CHICAGO — Chicago school teacher Colleen Pavelka knows how much her husband loves the Bears. Apparently, she loves him even more.

Colleen chose to have the birth of their second child induced a few days early so Mark Pavelka could attend Sunday’s NFC Championship showdown between the Bears and the New Orleans Saints.

The baby was due Monday. But when Colleen went in for an appointment Friday afternoon, her doctors told her she could opt for an early delivery. She decided to do so.

After nearly six hours of labor, 8-pound, 9-ounce Mark Patrick Pavelka was born Friday night.

Colleen Pavelka plans to catch the game on the plasma screen TV in her hospital room, while baby Mark Patrick is bundled up in the Bears receiving blanket his grandmother bought him for Christmas.

Man… I can’t wait for the evening AFC Championship game. Colts are going to whoop some Brady ass this year!!

I haven’t blogged in a while because I’ve been quite busy but this definitely deserves it. I was writing a review on Yelp and needed a good euphemism for “shitting.” I know, I know. It sounds gross but if you read my review you’ll probably get a kick out of it.

So to help me in my struggle I turned to Google. Try searching for that term through Google. You’ll come up with some crazy results. I have safe search “off” so if yours is still defaulted to “on” then you might come up with a whole set of different results.

Anways, after ROTFL at the advertisements that popped up on the Google results and the pages indexed I then clicked on “definition” in the top right corner of the Google results page which always brings you to Answers.com. I hope Google never takes this feature away. To me it’s better than the “define” operator. After reading half way down the Answers page. I came to a whole list of euphemisms. Most of these I never knew existed. They were funny as hell though.

pinching a loaf, laying some cable, seeing Mr. Brown off to the coast, swinging an opossum, burying the ostrich, squeezing off a round, dropping the kids off at the pool (sometimes dropping the Huxtabtables off at the pool), brewing up a pot of s.h.i. tea, laying a fresh man-biscuit, jettison a spent carbon-fuel rod, making a sacrifice to the toilet gods, building a house for President Lincoln, releasing the prisoners, lighting a bum cigar, cutting a log, dropping a deuce, making sausages, making butterfinger bb’s, punching a grumper, busting a grumpy, releasing the demons, dropping a charge (or depth charge), greeting the night, splitting the corn, taking a ride down the sunshine highway, squatting over a summer sausage, seeing a man about a horse (or wallaby), planting a brown carrot, giving birth to a food baby, dropping a dagger, paying tribute to Dutch porn, taking the Browns to the Super Bowl, bending a biscuit, negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages, witnessing the Brown ghost of Raynham Hall, or bombing the harbor) or with a vague and fairly rigid literalism. In the United States Army, the euphemism ‘executing a class-one download’ has become popular.

Hope you get a kick out of these as I did.

Of all the news that was released today… the one that caught my eye was this: Palm founder sells shares. If I was Jeffrey Hawkins I definitely would do the same thing. PALM shares dropped 5.69% today. More than likely because of the news of the all-in-one iPod Nano, iPhone, and internet communicator that is combined in the new Apple iPhone. This thing is just sick!

A ton of pics and almost the whole keynote can be found on Engadget.

Some exerpts that were pretty interesting from the keynote:

“So photos, SMS, and the phone app — that is part of our phone package for iPhone. Really great call management, scroll through contacts with your finger, all the information at your fingertips. Favorites, last century [shows dialer], calendar, SMS texting, incredible photo app, the ability to take any picture and make it your wallpaper. I think you’ll agree… we’ve reinvented the phone.”

Mini Laptop on a phone. Can it get any better than this.

“Now let’s take a look at an internet communications device. We’ve got some real breakthroughs here. We’ve got rich HTML emails on iPhone. It works with any IMAP or POP3 email service. We wanted the best web browser on a phone — so we picked the best one in the world, Safari. We have Safari running on iPhone — it’s the first fully-usable browser on a cellphone. We have Google Maps.”

Apple’s flagship internet browser Safari and Google Maps built in. From the pics the web pages show up as a normal page vice a manipulated mobile version using a browser as Opera Mini. Now that’s freakin’ kewl. With the high screen resolution Google Maps looks spectacular. I would instantaneously pick up the iPhone for directions before running to the nearest computer for directions. I’m currently using Google Maps Mobile but again, the screen res sucks. Normal cell phone processing speed also sucks. So loading Google Maps Mobile takes a bit. The video I linked to below shows it loading in a snap on iPhone.

“I can look at my email in a split view, just like I’m on my computer. I like the fullscreen view — we have the standard inbox, drafts, all the folders, real email just like you’re used to, right here on your phone. Again, free IMAP email from Yahoo. Let me create an email message, let me show you what that’s like… I just type PH and boom, address completion.”

Was actually looking for Gmail vice Yahoo Mail. Oh well, I’m pretty sure Google will have a Gmail Mobile app that can be downloaded and installed by the time the iPhone makes it to consumers.

“Our most popular iPod is $199 — what’s a smartphone cost? Somewhere around $299 with a two year contract.”

“What should we price it at? For a 4GB model we’re pricing it at $499 — no premium whatsoever.

“We’re going to have an 8GB model for just $599.”

And for all the features you’ll receive on this gadget the price seems pretty reasonable. You’ll probably hear many complainers over the price but you’re buying something state-of-the-art that can do more and better than any other smart phone on the market. Seriously, what do you expect?

“When’s it going to be available? We’re shipping them in June — we’re announcing it today because we have to go get FCC approval… we thought it’d be better to introduce this today rather than let the FCC introduce this.
Europe in the 4th quarter of this year, Asia in 2008. “We’ve chosen Cingular.”

“They’re going to be our exclusive partner in the US — it’s a unique partnership though. We’re going to be doing innovation together. We worked on visual voicemail, the first fruit of this collaboration. We’ll be selling iPhone through our own stores and Cingular stores.”

June this year for the U.S. Dammit! And I just re-upped my contract with Sprint for another 2 years recently. I need to find a way out of this within 6 months. Must… have…. iPhone…..

Here’s part of the video of Steve Jobs’ intro to the iPhone keynote on CNET: Video: Jobs launches long-awaited iPhone

There’s also one of him talking about the applications on the iPhone: Video: Jobs demos new iPhone apps

Higher quality images of the iPhone on display from Apple Insider can be found here. These images are effin’ awesome!

All in all, pretty damn impressive. They also launched the iTV… but it doesn’t tickle my fanny as the other.

Update 1: The whole Apple keynote video can now be found on Apple’s site: Macworld San Francisco 2007 keynote address

Every woman should read these rules and follow them to the ‘T’. Especially you Heather!!!

*chuckles*

The Guys’ Rules
—————————
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’
side of the story.
(I must admit, it! ’s pretty good.)
We always hear “the rules”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are o ur rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That’s what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the! other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s
wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine…Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Any questions?

(Thanks Dan)

Here’s one from SI.com covering a “smart” cheerleader who is with the Houston Texans. I’m always down for cheerleaders and I think I just found my dream girl.

That’s what she is, though. Williams is a 25-year old aerospace engineer for the Jacobs Engineering Group, which is NASA’s main scientific support contractor. Williams, a small-town Kansan, is an assistant project manager on the group that figures out how to keep the international space station habitable.

My dad’s also an engineer. He once worked for Jacobs. And when I was in seventh grade, he told me smart girls didn’t want to be cheerleaders. Which, in all fairness, is kind of what Summer Williams always thought too.

Well, we’re just glad you didn’t listen to dad on the whole smart girls/cheerleading statement.